Christmas- The Ultimate Comfort Zone

Before you really get started reading this column, close your eyes for just a minute, and picture yourself on Christmas morning. Really. I promise I’ll be here when you get back. One, two, three, close ‘em.

Open again? Okay. So where were you? What were you doing. What did you see, hear, smell?

I’ll share first. I am at my grandmother’s house. The house is quiet, except for my Granny’s humming as she cooks. I can hear the clicking of her basset hound’s toenails on the linoleum floor as she follows Granny around the kitchen. The smell of corned beef hash wafts through the living room. The little aluminum Christmas tree glows brightly in the reflected light of the round multi-colored light machine. Unwrapped toys still sit under the tree, with neatly folded bathrobes and slippers and other warm clothes nearby. We would have a quiet breakfast, just my Mom and sister and me and Granny (and Sam the Basset hound). Soon, my aunt and cousins will return for dinner and playing outside in the South Central Kansas snow.

Your memories are probably much different. But it is not hard to conjure up a Christmas memory. They stick and stay in our heads, and we bring them out when we need to be in a happy place.

 If I try again, and fast forward to when our kids were small, the scene will be similar. Some presents are unwrapped under an artificially green tree in our living room, but Santa’s special surprises: a Cabbage Patch doll, a Pound Puppy and a new pair of cowboy boots wait proudly for the first sleepy-head to emerge from the bedroom. I sit with my cup of hot tea and soak up the precious silence. Santa had come through once again, though my husband and I had wondered how he would manage with our meager paychecks. Outside, the Arkansas sun shines brightly, and I am actually thankful that there is no snow. Here in the foothills of the Ouachitas, slick roads would keep the grandparents from coming over later to watch the kids enjoy their new things. The big dinner the night before had been at their house, and I will most likely serve sandwiches today, along with any leftovers that might arrive with them. For now, heavenly peace.

 Yes, the faces around the tree change, the size and value of the presents vary, but there are constants. Things seem familiar, comfortable.

 Now that our kids are grown, our new normal is that we very rarely manage to have all of our offspring in the same room at the same time. We enjoy each one when we get to see them, no matter the date on the calendar. The tree goes up earlier, stays up longer, to accommodate their schedules. That is fine for me, as I have more of those quiet moments, more time to remember Christmases past.

 Not everyone adjusts to changes in the Christmas routine as easily. The same memories that bring us joy, also cause pain. The absence of familiar faces diminishes our joy. We need to be aware of this, and reach out to those who suffer during the holidays.

 The first Christmas was not comfortable for the young couple who had traveled a great distance to find a “No Vacancy” sign, and a baby who was born in a building intended for animals. They knew, though that something amazing was happening, having heard from angels, and visitors who came to gaze in amazement at the future king. This story is the constant that keeps Christmas so special for all of us. The realization that no matter what else happens in this world, God keeps His promises. Whether in a festive room full of friends and family, or alone in the flickering light of a fireplace, Christmas encourages us, prompts us to look around, to reach out to each other. Let’s remember the hope that filled that tiny, smelly stable so long ago. Comfortable or not, enjoy your Christmas celebration this year!

             

Finally! Fall Festivities

      

  It’s October in the Ouachitas, and not a moment too soon. Summer wasn’t all that bad, really. We had a lot more rain than usual, and only the expected number of really hot days. But Autumn in Arkansas. Now THAT is why we all love living here. Can I get a Woo Pig for that? So, because I am in a festive and frivolous mood, here’s what I am most looking forward to in the weeks ahead:

        Fairs:  Our county already had theirs, and we enjoyed it with two of our grands this year. However- one past memory of that same fair came to mind as I smelled the funnel cakes and tripped over the power cords in the midway. When hubby and I were first dating, I informed him that I loved carnivals, but the whirly rides, like tea-cups and tilt-a-whirls had never worked for me. They triggered my motion sickness in quite drastic fashion. “Oh come on, scaredy cat.” Or something to that effect. Well, I decided there was only one way to prove it to him. So, with an unfortunate tag along friend, we boarded a ride that whirled and rose into the air, and went round and round, and .. . . about halfway through, my supper came up all over them. Point well taken. He never forced me onto a ride again.

        Festivals: Our hometown has a really fabulous one on the town square. I’ll wager that wherever you are, you can find one too. Folks with various talents and products set up booths, and there is always a lot of activity to fill a fall day. One year, I was in the Ouachita Life booth telling stories every hour on the hour. Hubby had to find a way to stay busy, so he entered contests. One, in particular didn’t seem to be getting a lot of entries. So, he bought 5 or 10 chances, and guaranteed that we would win. As everyone was cleaning up at the end of the day, we were among a very small crowd listening for the winner to be drawn. He proudly stepped forward before his name was completely out of the announcer’s mouth, and we took home a brand new television! That is probably my very favorite “I told you so.”

        Fundraisers: Because of the usually beautiful weather, many groups schedule events to attract attention to their causes, and raise some necessary operating capital in the bargain. A crisp fall morning is the perfect time to don a long-sleeved t-shirt and sturdy running shoes and walk through the streets of our favorite nearby big city. Though officially a race, there are very few if any who have winning on their mind. It’s the camaraderie, the shared concern for others that keeps us tromping across the bridges and past the tall buildings. Of course, dancing fire-fighters are a big plus as well. The thought just occurred to me- I wonder what will happen if the Broadway bridge is out of commission for this year’s Komen Race for the Cure? Hmmm. Recalculating.

        Football: Of course! We are fans on every level. Oldest son was in a pee-wee league, and we have great memories of learning the rules and taking some hard knocks, with little siblings playing and cheering on the sidelines. High school games are still the thing to do on Friday nights in our neck of the woods, whether witnessing them in person, or listening to our preacher/play by play man on the radio. Of course, there are the Razorbacks on Saturday. Even our front door is in the spirit this year.

The weekend is always built around what time the Hogs play. And hubby and I are planning a trip to a professional game in November! Don’t forget about the cheerleaders, pep-steppers and bands. One of my favorite memories ever involves looking up into the bleachers to see our percussion section performing their own version of “Devil went down to Georgia” with drumsticks converted to fiddles. Uncommon, for sure. Also, if you have never seen the Bryant Legacy perform what they call Trombone Suicide, you are in for a treat. Go for it kids, one day your energy level will drop drastically!

        Family:  The common thread here? Besides the frequently found fantastic first letters?  Autumn brings back so many good memories. The crispness of the air, the beauty of God’s creation as it winds down and prepares for a rest. The promise of sunshine and cool breezes, and campfires: Oh My. I could go on all day. But, you have places to go, people to see. Turn to the middle of this magazine and find something fun to do with your own family and friends. I firmly believe God sent October to renew our faith and lift our spirits. Enjoy!!!

        

Connections: Six Steps to anyone in the World

Several years ago, there was a movie based on the premise that with only six steps(degrees) of talking to someone you know and then a friend of that friend, etc. you could be introduced to anyone in the world. Crazy? With today’s instant connections on online social networks, maybe not so crazy! We’ll define a connection as one of two things: Either you can verify a blood relationship to a person, or this person is someone you know well enough to expect a hug or at least a good firm handshake when you next see them. There are also what we will call second level connections- these are people you went to school with, or lived down the street from, or worked with at the same employer. They might need to be reminded of your name, but there would be that spark; that “Oh Yeah, How Ya Doin?” moment when your buggies pass at Wal-Mart.

So think about it- How are you connected to the Pope? Or Dog the Bounty Hunter? Actually, celebrities are fairly easy. I would start with the most famous person I’ve met. The circles those people travel in connect them to other famous folks, at least on a firm handshake level. Former President Clinton would fit the bill here for many in the Ouachita region. I’ve washed my hand many times since I shook his, but I worked in a building across the street from the State Capitol when he was our young and handsome governor, and had occasion to meet him many times. Just think of all the people that man has greeted, usually with a clap-around-your-shoulders hug instead of a handshake. If he hasn’t personally met Dog the Bounty Hunter, a friend of someone he’s met certainly has.

When we incorporate blood relatives, we can even use folks who are no longer alive to establish connections. In this way, I can get to the Queen of England without using Bill Clinton. Here’s how it goes: My Mom found a letter to my Granny’s brother from a friend named Carlos who knew him well enough to address him by first name. The letter included a picture taken with the Princes of England at that time- Edward, who abdicated the throne to marry Wallis Simpson from America, and Albert, who became King George VI. This picture provided hours of fun for me and for my sister, as we researched this early 20th century globe-trotter. He turned out to be a very famous opera singer and Latin dancer from Chile. Our uncle probably met him there, as he was quite a traveler himself, and even married a lady from South America. So if my Granny counts as my first connection, Uncle Lo (Tony) is number two, his friend Carlos, number three, King George VI number four, his daughter Queen Elizabeth II number five. Voila!

Those who aren’t celebrities are harder. Could you pick up a phone book from Kenosha, Wisconsin or Tucumcari, New Mexico and randomly point out someone, and then find your six steps? In this instance, I would turn to geography. I would find someone who has lived closer than I have to one of these places, then make connections through the church they attended, where they went to school, etc. For the Wisconsin one, I know exactly where I’d start. Yep, still doable.

So what good is all of this babble? It’s mostly just for fun, really. But, sometimes, those connections can come in handy. If you’re searching for a job, connections can literally mean money. If you’re moving to a new city, or know someone who is, connections can open doors and make life immeasurably easier.

This week, a Facebook friend had a contact who needed something translated into a language that is rather obscure for this area. I just happened to know someone who had studied that language while he served in the Army. Less than six degrees later, the connection was made!

These days, while there are more humans inhabiting the planet than ever before, we are becoming more connected all the time. With this thought, we shouldn’t feel so lonely. That stranger you pass on the street is really the friend of a friend of a friend. Of course, that doesn’t mean we can automatically trust everyone we meet. We still need to keep our guard up. But, when we share an interest, like Ouachita Life in common, we’re already a big step closer to being friends. Who are you connected to, and how? I’d love to hear about it!

Getting to Know You- Whatever it Takes

Could it be that Ouachita Life is entering its fifth year? And I’ve been writing this column for four? What they say about the way time flies is true. Except for a time or two of missed connections, my byline has appeared in every issue you’ve picked up for a long time now. One very rewarding new development- I get letters!
After my recent column about weddings, a reader from Bismarck wrote to tell me the fascinating tale of the beginning of his 62 year marriage.
The best place to start in this love story of Henry and June Williams is with the last line: “So you see, we never had a date, and all of our courtship was through the mail.”
Yes, you read that right. Here’s how it happened: When Henry was just seventeen, he and a friend were traveling on a bus from the State of Washington back to Arkansas. A family with two teen-aged daughters was on the same bus, headed for Minnesota. One of the girls wanted to sit with Henry’s friend, which left him with 13-year old June as his companion for the overnight trip.
Perhaps we can understand the old fashioned term for courtship-“sparking” a little better now, because that night, a flame was lit that has burned for more than half a century. At some point the next morning, the youngsters had to change to separate buses, but not before they exchanged addresses. Back home in the Northern Midwest and the Upper South, June and Henry continued to get acquainted, by mail.
I asked Henry about those letters, and he said they must have been pretty good. He particularly remembers that once while serving in the military, he nearly panicked when he couldn’t find June’s address to answer her latest letter. Thankfully, she was not just sitting around waiting for a response, and another letter arrived in time to keep everything rolling.
For four years, the correspondence continued, with letters traveling half-way around the world. Then, while Henry was stationed in Florida, the two decided to make a change. I can picture June running to the mailbox in Minnesota as those plans were being firmed up, until the day she received money in the mail to go and get the marriage license. Now 17, her 20-year old fiancé was making another bus trip. This time, they would leave together, as husband and wife.
June’s uncle met Sgt. Williams in Grand Marais, Minnesota to bring him back by pontoon airplane to the family’s lakeside home. Henry sounds a little nervous as he describes arriving to see two girls standing on the dock. Because he’d only seen her in pictures for four years, he says he “hoped he would pick the right one.” After 62 years, three kids and lots of grands and greats, he tells me that now “We have the same thoughts”. I’m no expert, but I think he definitely picked the right girl.
From the “More Things Change the More they Stay the Same” department, another reader tells me about his experience with an on-line match-making service. These days, the information gathering took a matter of months, rather than years. He says that after the surveys and opinions on all sorts of things were finished, and actual email letters started, they were corresponding once or twice each day. By the time he and his on-line sweetheart decided to meet face to face, they felt they knew each other quite well.
Just to be sure, these two dated for a little over two years, and are now happy newlyweds. Of course, we should add a “Results May Not be Typical” disclaimer, but it seems that just like Henry and June, these modern-day pen-pals succeeded in their quest to find a soul-mate. When it’s right, it’s right.
So what’s your story? Happily attached after an un-orthodox beginning? Still out there looking? Content to live your life the way you want ? I’d love to hear about it. Write me c/o Ouachita Life, P.O. Box 147, Benton, AR 72018. Or come by my blogsite www.jennycarlisle.net and leave a comment. The fiction writer in me loves to hear a great tale, and so do our Ouachita readers! Hope you have a great September.