Making a Difference- Easier Than You Think

I confess that I often get a bad case of the “don’t-want- tos” when I’m getting ready for work in the morning. Especially now that the weather is cooler, it is so tempting to stay home in my “pj”s. So what motivates me to don my “business casual” attire, apply makeup and drive into the city? The prospect of a paycheck is a large part of it. Even more important though, is the thought that I might actually make a difference. It is satisfying to think that what I do might make someone else’s day a little brighter in some way.
Outside of our working life, we are constantly asked to help others. When we watch the news and hear of so many folks who need so much help we can be easily overwhelmed. My watchword in this case comes from an expert at making a difference, JoAnn Cayce of Thornton. Her advice to me: “Honey, just do what you can.”
Think for a moment about what you are already doing. Is there a particular charity that “has your number” and calls you year after year because they can depend on you to give at least a little? Did you ever walk around the downtown area of a nearby city with 40,000 of your closest friends in support of brave cancer survivors? Do you give to your local church? See, you are already in the habit of being helpful.
I think making a difference becomes a mindset. It’s a natural reaction of a grateful heart. We are so blessed that we can’t help sharing with others. There are so many opportunities, especially with the holidays approaching. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with checking out a charity before you give. After all, you want to be sure that your gift will really reach someone who is really in need. Sometimes the grass-roots organizations are the best. In Saline County, the Churches Joint Council on Human Need operates a food pantry, and also helps promote a drive to collect warm coats each year. One of my favorite charities asks me to simply mail some letters to a few friends, asking for a donation. I like this much better than the traditional “door to door” approach, and although I don’t have huge results, it does generate a little bit for medical research.
Your time can be even more valuable than your money. So many organizations can use your talents, and provide you with a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. Organizations like Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Habitat for Humanity, Civitan, and the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are always looking for people with big hearts and willing hands. Volunteering can enrich so many lives, including your own.
On a smaller scale, we can watch for opportunities in our everyday life. Did someone need a hand holding a door, or carrying a package? Could you afford to pay for a cup of coffee for the guy behind you in line? Each courtesy we extend to others just warms our own hearts.
I remember a story that a former Miss Saline County shared with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop years ago. I’ve seen it in different forms on the Internet, and it has a wonderful message. It goes something like this:
A child was walking along the beach, and noticed hundreds of starfish washed up on the sand. The tide was going out, and she knew that if these little animals didn’t make it back into the water, they would die. She began picking them up, one by one, and tossing them as far out to sea as she could. A man walked by and pointed out that there were hundreds, and she couldn’t possibly save them all.
His question to the little girl: “What does it matter?”
Her reply: “It matters to this one” as she stooped to pick up another starfish, “It matters to this one,” throwing it toward the ocean with all of her strength. “It matters to this one.”
Your efforts do make a difference. Just watch for opportunities, and do what you can.
I’d love to hear about what you do, and how it makes you feel. Write to me in care of Ouachita Life, or leave a comment on my blog at http://www.jennycarlisle.net.

The First Day of Happily Ever After

It’s June, so the topic on everyone’s mind- at least at the Carlisle house, is WEDDINGS! In our family, we’re preparing for a big celebration to kick off a new life for our middle son Jon, and his lovely fiancée Gina. Travel plans are made, new clothes have been purchased, and we’re all eagerly anticipating. Of course, more important than any ceremony or huge party is the fact that these two are clearly meant for each other. We all want to be there because we can see that it will be the historic beginning of a marriage made in heaven. We want to fuel them up for their journey with lots of smiles, hugs and prayers. It will be a day that will be talked about for generations to come.

Weddings always provide great stories. Most little girls have great expectations for their big day, and may even have the details planned for years, penciling in the name of the groom at the last minute, and showing him where to stand. The mark of maturity for her is the ability to adjust if everything doesn’t turn out exactly as she pictured. Failure to do this gracefully has become the stuff of legend, and even spawned a television show with the very descriptive title of “Bridezilla.” So far, all of the brides in our family including the latest one have successfully avoided this label.
It’s understood that the marriage is much more important than the wedding, so sometimes, the less fuss, the better. James’ parents kept their plans very low key. They caught a ride from Paron with someone who had business that day in Benton, and were married in the vault at the Saline County Courthouse. A very inauspicious beginning for a very successful sixty year union.
My mom and step-dad also had a very low key ceremony, but the exciting thing was what followed. We celebrated with a steak dinner at one of the best restaurants in my Kansas home-town, but even better was what happened the next morning. The entire wedding party, consisting of the happy couple, me, my sister and my brand new step-brother squeezed into a well packed truck and a car with the family dog and moved to Arkansas!

May 31, 1976 was a momentous day in more ways than one. It was the day that I married my own Prince Charming, in the best 70s fashion. The bridesmaids wore wide-brimmed picture hats, and the groom and his attendants were decked out in baby-blue bell-bottomed tuxedos. It also marked the first time my husband met my father. James recalls that this very imposing man came into the room behind the altar just before the wedding, and asked in his best tough policeman voice: “Which one of you is marrying my daughter?” Though at that point he must have felt like slipping out the back way, I’m so grateful that my intended stood his ground. You’ll have to ask him if he made the right decision.

My daughter’s wedding eight years ago was simply beautiful. Held at her new husband’s home, the guests made our-selves comfortable on the very nice couches and chairs in the family room. When the time came to exchange rings, the closest person available to hold the bride’s bouquet was also reading the vows. We have a precious picture of our beloved minister with his Bible in one hand, and a sweet bundle of posies in the other.

Our oldest son married a very sweet girl from Texas. Their wedding party included two sets of small siblings who served as ring-bearers and flower girls. After the service, they knew that they were to lead everyone back up the aisle. However, the minister (the same one who had held my daughter’s flowers) paired up the wrong brother with the wrong sister. With a quick nod, the bride’s mother and I stood up and corrected the error, and the recessional continued.

So, we’re off to Orlando, where in an amazing example of history repeating, we’re to attend a wedding in another historic courthouse. There will be quite a bit more pomp and circumstance this time, but the underlying emphasis will be the same. It’s all about this couple, and their resolve to spend all of their come-what-mays together. With the support of two loving families, and God’s blessing, they’re sure to have many happy years ahead.