The Waltons had it made. To clarify, I’m talking here about the TV family, not the multi-millionaires from NW Arkansas. Yes, when it comes to family unity and stability, having a great big house on top of a hill was a wonderful thing. Three generations living under one roof year-round meant that for holidays there was no question about the venue for a celebration. All roads led to Walton’s Mountain. Even during times of great hardship or war, all the members of the family had one goal, to arrive at Grandma’s table in time for Grandpa’s blessing before carving into Olivia’s perfectly cooked turkey.
Of course, real life has never been that simple.
About the middle of November, you’ll hear me start to spout some very familiar phrases. “The date on the calendar doesn’t really matter. We love seeing you anytime.” And then there’s the ever popular “Even if we can’t all be together at the same time, We’ll love having each of you.” Sigh.
These statements are actually very true, of course. And to be fair, our children don’t neglect us. We talk to them quite often, and have seen all of them as recently as last summer. It’s just that as the smell of freshly baked sugar cookies starts to fill the air, I have to repeat these things over and over to convince myself.
I blame the media.
Just when I’ve adjusted to seeing my kids and grands on a trickle in and out basis between Thanksgiving and Spring Break, one of those hokey commercials pops up on the television. You know the scene. The well-groomed family is gathering around a perfectly dressed table next to a beautiful Christmas tree. Everyone glances with a smile at the picture of the one missing member who can’t join them because they are… fill in the blank … off to college, defending our freedoms in the military, or serving as a missionary in Bora Bora.
The youngest members of the group are peering out the window through the gently falling snow trying to catch a glimpse of Santa’s sleigh. Just as Mom carries the antique gravy boat to the table, the doorbell rings. Dad opens the door, and Surprise! Wayward Child appears on the porch with his back pack and duffel bags full of dirty laundry (oops- I mean Christmas presents). Laughter, hugs, cut to the product logo.
What are they trying to sell? Don’t bother me with details.
An Eighties movie called “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” emphasizes our obsession with being home for the holidays. The characters played by Steve Martin and John Candy suffer all sorts of indignities before bonding and ultimately making it just in time for Thanksgiving dinner.
In our family, we’ve often tried to explain to our kids how difficult it is to make a journey to see each other. Our oldest grandson used to recite a little “How do we get there?” speech, which summarized the directions to his destination. He particularly liked the route to Uncle Jon’s, Uncle Chris and Aunt Kat’s houses- “Out on the highway, over the mountains, and through the tunnel” back in the Fayetteville days. Then, after he moved to Texas, the trip to see anyone was “Drive, drive, drive, Take a Nap, drive, drive, drive some more.”
Add to the logistics the fact that all of our little families have jobs and vacation schedules to juggle, and the realities of assembling in one spot on any given day become very difficult. I understand that perfectly, really I do.
Uh-oh. There’s another commercial, playing “I’ll be Home for Christmas.” Somebody turn that doggoned TV off.
After all, Christmas is not about me, anyway. It’s a time to be reminded of the great love our Heavenly Father demonstrated when he sent His Son to live here with us. Because of that great gift, we all have a chance to be together at home someday.
So, Good-night Grandpa, Good night, Mary Ellen, Goodnight Ben, and Merry Christmas John-Boy, wherever you are!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Making a Difference- Easier Than You Think
I confess that I often get a bad case of the “don’t-want- tos” when I’m getting ready for work in the morning. Especially now that the weather is cooler, it is so tempting to stay home in my “pj”s. So what motivates me to don my “business casual” attire, apply makeup and drive into the city? The prospect of a paycheck is a large part of it. Even more important though, is the thought that I might actually make a difference. It is satisfying to think that what I do might make someone else’s day a little brighter in some way.
Outside of our working life, we are constantly asked to help others. When we watch the news and hear of so many folks who need so much help we can be easily overwhelmed. My watchword in this case comes from an expert at making a difference, JoAnn Cayce of Thornton. Her advice to me: “Honey, just do what you can.”
Think for a moment about what you are already doing. Is there a particular charity that “has your number” and calls you year after year because they can depend on you to give at least a little? Did you ever walk around the downtown area of a nearby city with 40,000 of your closest friends in support of brave cancer survivors? Do you give to your local church? See, you are already in the habit of being helpful.
I think making a difference becomes a mindset. It’s a natural reaction of a grateful heart. We are so blessed that we can’t help sharing with others. There are so many opportunities, especially with the holidays approaching. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with checking out a charity before you give. After all, you want to be sure that your gift will really reach someone who is really in need. Sometimes the grass-roots organizations are the best. In Saline County, the Churches Joint Council on Human Need operates a food pantry, and also helps promote a drive to collect warm coats each year. One of my favorite charities asks me to simply mail some letters to a few friends, asking for a donation. I like this much better than the traditional “door to door” approach, and although I don’t have huge results, it does generate a little bit for medical research.
Your time can be even more valuable than your money. So many organizations can use your talents, and provide you with a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. Organizations like Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Habitat for Humanity, Civitan, and the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are always looking for people with big hearts and willing hands. Volunteering can enrich so many lives, including your own.
On a smaller scale, we can watch for opportunities in our everyday life. Did someone need a hand holding a door, or carrying a package? Could you afford to pay for a cup of coffee for the guy behind you in line? Each courtesy we extend to others just warms our own hearts.
I remember a story that a former Miss Saline County shared with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop years ago. I’ve seen it in different forms on the Internet, and it has a wonderful message. It goes something like this:
A child was walking along the beach, and noticed hundreds of starfish washed up on the sand. The tide was going out, and she knew that if these little animals didn’t make it back into the water, they would die. She began picking them up, one by one, and tossing them as far out to sea as she could. A man walked by and pointed out that there were hundreds, and she couldn’t possibly save them all.
His question to the little girl: “What does it matter?”
Her reply: “It matters to this one” as she stooped to pick up another starfish, “It matters to this one,” throwing it toward the ocean with all of her strength. “It matters to this one.”
Your efforts do make a difference. Just watch for opportunities, and do what you can.
I’d love to hear about what you do, and how it makes you feel. Write to me in care of Ouachita Life, or leave a comment on my blog at http://www.jennycarlisle.net.
Outside of our working life, we are constantly asked to help others. When we watch the news and hear of so many folks who need so much help we can be easily overwhelmed. My watchword in this case comes from an expert at making a difference, JoAnn Cayce of Thornton. Her advice to me: “Honey, just do what you can.”
Think for a moment about what you are already doing. Is there a particular charity that “has your number” and calls you year after year because they can depend on you to give at least a little? Did you ever walk around the downtown area of a nearby city with 40,000 of your closest friends in support of brave cancer survivors? Do you give to your local church? See, you are already in the habit of being helpful.
I think making a difference becomes a mindset. It’s a natural reaction of a grateful heart. We are so blessed that we can’t help sharing with others. There are so many opportunities, especially with the holidays approaching. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with checking out a charity before you give. After all, you want to be sure that your gift will really reach someone who is really in need. Sometimes the grass-roots organizations are the best. In Saline County, the Churches Joint Council on Human Need operates a food pantry, and also helps promote a drive to collect warm coats each year. One of my favorite charities asks me to simply mail some letters to a few friends, asking for a donation. I like this much better than the traditional “door to door” approach, and although I don’t have huge results, it does generate a little bit for medical research.
Your time can be even more valuable than your money. So many organizations can use your talents, and provide you with a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. Organizations like Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Habitat for Humanity, Civitan, and the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are always looking for people with big hearts and willing hands. Volunteering can enrich so many lives, including your own.
On a smaller scale, we can watch for opportunities in our everyday life. Did someone need a hand holding a door, or carrying a package? Could you afford to pay for a cup of coffee for the guy behind you in line? Each courtesy we extend to others just warms our own hearts.
I remember a story that a former Miss Saline County shared with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop years ago. I’ve seen it in different forms on the Internet, and it has a wonderful message. It goes something like this:
A child was walking along the beach, and noticed hundreds of starfish washed up on the sand. The tide was going out, and she knew that if these little animals didn’t make it back into the water, they would die. She began picking them up, one by one, and tossing them as far out to sea as she could. A man walked by and pointed out that there were hundreds, and she couldn’t possibly save them all.
His question to the little girl: “What does it matter?”
Her reply: “It matters to this one” as she stooped to pick up another starfish, “It matters to this one,” throwing it toward the ocean with all of her strength. “It matters to this one.”
Your efforts do make a difference. Just watch for opportunities, and do what you can.
I’d love to hear about what you do, and how it makes you feel. Write to me in care of Ouachita Life, or leave a comment on my blog at http://www.jennycarlisle.net.
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