Making a Difference- Easier Than You Think

I confess that I often get a bad case of the “don’t-want- tos” when I’m getting ready for work in the morning. Especially now that the weather is cooler, it is so tempting to stay home in my “pj”s. So what motivates me to don my “business casual” attire, apply makeup and drive into the city? The prospect of a paycheck is a large part of it. Even more important though, is the thought that I might actually make a difference. It is satisfying to think that what I do might make someone else’s day a little brighter in some way.
Outside of our working life, we are constantly asked to help others. When we watch the news and hear of so many folks who need so much help we can be easily overwhelmed. My watchword in this case comes from an expert at making a difference, JoAnn Cayce of Thornton. Her advice to me: “Honey, just do what you can.”
Think for a moment about what you are already doing. Is there a particular charity that “has your number” and calls you year after year because they can depend on you to give at least a little? Did you ever walk around the downtown area of a nearby city with 40,000 of your closest friends in support of brave cancer survivors? Do you give to your local church? See, you are already in the habit of being helpful.
I think making a difference becomes a mindset. It’s a natural reaction of a grateful heart. We are so blessed that we can’t help sharing with others. There are so many opportunities, especially with the holidays approaching. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with checking out a charity before you give. After all, you want to be sure that your gift will really reach someone who is really in need. Sometimes the grass-roots organizations are the best. In Saline County, the Churches Joint Council on Human Need operates a food pantry, and also helps promote a drive to collect warm coats each year. One of my favorite charities asks me to simply mail some letters to a few friends, asking for a donation. I like this much better than the traditional “door to door” approach, and although I don’t have huge results, it does generate a little bit for medical research.
Your time can be even more valuable than your money. So many organizations can use your talents, and provide you with a feeling of satisfaction for a job well done. Organizations like Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Habitat for Humanity, Civitan, and the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are always looking for people with big hearts and willing hands. Volunteering can enrich so many lives, including your own.
On a smaller scale, we can watch for opportunities in our everyday life. Did someone need a hand holding a door, or carrying a package? Could you afford to pay for a cup of coffee for the guy behind you in line? Each courtesy we extend to others just warms our own hearts.
I remember a story that a former Miss Saline County shared with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop years ago. I’ve seen it in different forms on the Internet, and it has a wonderful message. It goes something like this:
A child was walking along the beach, and noticed hundreds of starfish washed up on the sand. The tide was going out, and she knew that if these little animals didn’t make it back into the water, they would die. She began picking them up, one by one, and tossing them as far out to sea as she could. A man walked by and pointed out that there were hundreds, and she couldn’t possibly save them all.
His question to the little girl: “What does it matter?”
Her reply: “It matters to this one” as she stooped to pick up another starfish, “It matters to this one,” throwing it toward the ocean with all of her strength. “It matters to this one.”
Your efforts do make a difference. Just watch for opportunities, and do what you can.
I’d love to hear about what you do, and how it makes you feel. Write to me in care of Ouachita Life, or leave a comment on my blog at http://www.jennycarlisle.net.

Reunions- Why Bother

Of all the reasons that humans gather into groups, reunions of any kind have the worst reputation. You’ve heard all the old excuses. Boring, a bunch of people I don’t remember, etc, etc. You can find negatives if that’s what you’re looking for. But for me, the positives far out-weigh them.
The three I’m involved in are all groups that I was not born into. The Hunt Family, who meets at Petit Jean each May were forced to accept me when James Carlisle chose me as his permanent pot-luck partner. The Bryant High School Class of 1975 fully adopted me, though I only attended school with them for that last, all-important year. The Tuggles of Hot Spring County also inherited me, when one of their sons married a woman from Kansas with two teen-aged daughters. In all three cases, I feel included, legalities aside.
The most important thing about re-uniting is that we keep doing it. If you compare the possible guest list to the number that actually show up, it can be discouraging. Rather, I just like to enjoy and encourage those who do make the effort.
Family reunions are fun because they have the potential of growing and continuing. You start with a core group (the first generation) and invite all of their descendants. That number grows exponentially each year. (Do I get extra credit for that word?)The key is to get the younger ones interested. The Hunt family accomplishes this by holding their gathering at one of the most beautiful places in Arkansas-maybe the whole world: Petit Jean State Park. Little ones will have memories of standing on the banks of the creek with a fishing pole. “I remember the year (they’ll tell their own kids) that the water was so high we couldn’t stand here. We had to move up to that spot.” (Pointing back toward the pavilion). Or- “I remember once when Uncle so-and-so led us on a hike after lunch, and Mom and Dad were waiting on us when we got back. They already had everything loaded in the car.” The love and acceptance we feel here keeps us coming back.
At the Tuggle reunion in September they take pride in the old recipes. There are conversations about who makes the best chocolate pie. Memories being swapped recall family gatherings after church, lots of laughter and happy times. Here again, all hope is invested in the next generation. I talked with a young lady who was very happy to tell me all about the book she had brought along to read. But, the all important question was “When do we get to eat?” Of course, documenting the family history is another focus of the day, and my Mom is proud to be the keeper of the family trees. Her table attracted lots of interest with people wanting to be sure they understood how everyone was connected, and making sure she had listed all of the newest grands and greats. One young man was very interested in her story of a Tuggle family cemetery in Tennessee that had been destroyed during the construction of a new sub-division. “Why would they do that?” he asked her. Why indeed.
Best of all are the stories- happy memories and even sad ones. We can gain new insight into how our relatives made it through- and came out smiling.
The High School reunion has an entirely different vibe. Unfortunately, this group is destined to only get smaller as time goes by. So, the focus is on really enjoying each other’s company each time we can. For the Bryant High class of 1975, much of the fun is in the planning. Friendships are formed between people who never “hung out” together when they were in school. More than one activity is planned, so that those with different interests will be intrigued. We try to make it worthwhile for class members who travel in, while keeping the costs down. Once there- it’s all about happy hugs and handshakes. We laugh together because there is no need for pretense. No need to try to impress anyone with who you are today. We know all about you, where you came from, the silly things you did when you were young. It’s all about the roots we have in common, and even the struggles we’ve been through since we threw those blue mortarboards in the air. Through all the ages and stages, you’ve still got friends who understand. So, Hornets, if you need details about the 35th, give me a shout at www.jennycarlisle.net. Can’t wait to see you the first weekend in November!
Next time you’re invited to a reunion- don’t just send the letter to the shredder. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it!